Have you ever had a moment where you realized someone had profoundly impacted your life, but you never told them? Or maybe, you’ve received unexpected appreciation that left you feeling seen and valued? These moments remind us of a simple truth: appreciation unspoken is like a gift never given.
A story of Unspoken appreciation
Not long ago, I facilitated a public workshop where all attendees had the opportunity to witness something remarkable happen. April, one of the participants, shared a deeply personal story about her friend Clare. She spoke about how Clare had been her rock during tough times, offering her support and providing a different perspective. April also revealed that it was Clare who invited her to this session.
As April spoke, we noticed something unexpected. Clare, sitting right beside her, had started to tear up. She had never heard April express just how much what she had done meant to her. To Clare, being a friend was second nature. But to April, it meant the world.
It was a powerful reminder: appreciation left unexpressed is a missed opportunity. When you give voice to it and speak it aloud, you show someone that you see them, not just for what they do, but for who they are. You reinforce their significance in your life.
Ask Yourself: Who in my life, at work or home, can I make a more consistent effort in expressing appreciation? How would it change things if I shared it?
small gestures make a difference
I had a similar experience one afternoon while meeting with a client at a downtown café. The music in the background was so loud, it made it difficult to hear my client. I walked over to the counter, politely asked for the music volume to be lowered, and within moments, the young man behind the counter made it happen. He didn’t hesitate, just nodded and got to work. I mouthed a quick “thank you” and continued with my meeting.
As I was leaving, I couldn’t shake the thought of how nice it was for him to have made the effort. I returned to the counter to express my appreciation, and his response stuck with me: “No problem, that’s my job.” Yet, when I turned back, I saw his face light up. I hadn’t just thanked him for doing his job; I had appreciated the way he did it, without push back, without hesitation, and with a genuine smile.
Expressing appreciation doesn’t just make the other person feel good, it makes you feel good too.
Ask Yourself: Where in my day could I express appreciation? To a colleague, a team member, or even a stranger?
more than just “thank you”
Since childhood, we’ve been taught the importance of saying “please” and “thank you”, but true appreciation goes beyond polite words. It’s about recognizing the energy exchanged between two people, the acknowledgment that someone’s actions, no matter how small, have made a positive difference.
According to a worldwide study by Towers Watson, the biggest driver of engagement in the workplace is whether employees genuinely feel their managers care about their well-being. Appreciation is a practice, not simply reserved for managers and employees, but for everyone who is part of our daily lives.
Warning: Appreciation must be genuine. Empty words feel worse than silence. Leaders have shared that what they dislike more than not being appreciated is receiving insincere words of praise.
Ask Yourself: When I express appreciation, does it feel authentic? Are the words heartfelt and expressed with meaning?
a Simple Challenge: expressing appreciation
Here’s my challenge to you: Express appreciation to at least five people daily. Yes, five! And start with yourself.
At the end of the day, pull out your journal and write down your statements, or you can look in the mirror and say, “I appreciate you for…” acknowledging something you’re proud of.
For example:
- “I appreciate you for staying focused and finishing that project.”
- “I appreciate you for taking the time to check in on a friend.”
- “I appreciate you for making healthier choices today.”
When you make appreciation a habit, it changes the way you see yourself and others. Drawing your attention to what you and others are doing right!
Ripple Effect of Appreciation
When you express genuine appreciation, you:
- Develop deeper connections.
- Boost self-esteem, confidence and morale.
- Reinforce others’ sense of value and significance.
- Create a safe space that inspires people to do their best.
And the best part, it only takes a few heartfelt words to make a positive impact.
Ask Yourself: How do I want to be remembered? What impact do I want to have?
You got this! Give the gift of appreciation, it’s priceless!
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