“I’m going to speak candidly.”
To many, this statement conveys transparency, honesty, and, ideally, no judgment. Candour isn’t about being blunt or abrasive. When done well, it’s about being clear, grounded, and growth-focused. It’s one of the most powerful tools a leader can use to build trust and establish clarity, especially when the stakes are high.
Why Some Leaders Avoid It, and Others Overdo It
Some leaders hold back, fearing they’ll offend or create distance. Others lead with raw candour, wearing their directness as a badge of honour, prioritizing efficiency over connection.
The real skill lies in candour with care: saying what needs to be said in a way that supports a positive outcome and honours the person or people in front of you.
Candour becomes especially critical during times of change, tension, or uncertainty – when assumptions, silence, or unclear direction can derail momentum. In these moments, it’s not just helpful, it’s necessary.
Your Personal Brand Is Your Anchor
Your personal brand is more than a tagline; it’s what others share about you, based on their lived experience, when you’re not in the room. It’s the energy you bring, the values you model, and the standard you set.
Being clear about your brand provides a guide for how to show up, especially when delivering tough messages. When your message and intention are aligned, you eliminate second-guessing and lead with greater confidence.
Your Mindset and Emotions Shape Your Message
Many leaders share they’ve had negative experiences with candid feedback, maybe you have too. But your past doesn’t have to define your future. Like any leadership skill, candour gets easier with intention and repetition.
Think of it like building muscle memory:
- Leading your first high-stakes meeting
- Presenting a bold idea to key stakeholders
- Making an out-of-the-box request
It’s awkward and uncomfortable, until it isn’t!
Before entering a candid conversation, ask yourself:
- What’s the outcome I want?
- What does the other person need to hear?
- What’s the kindest, clearest way to say it?
This mindset keeps you grounded in purpose, not emotion.
The “How” Has More Impact Than You Think
Dr. Albert Mehrabian’s research on communication reminds us that how you say something can matter more than the words themselves. In fact, up to 38% of your message is shaped by tone and 55% by body language.
Even when your words are well-crafted, if your delivery feels cold, frustrated, or judgmental, your message likely won’t land the way you intend.
Candour doesn’t disengage people; poor delivery does.
If your message feels emotionally charged, rushed, or condescending, others will sense it and likely shut down.
Also consider the person’s communication style and cultural context. What feels clear to you may feel confrontational to someone else. Adjusting your tone and language isn’t watering down your message; it’s strengthening the relationship.
The 3 Cs of Candid Communication for Leaders
Use this simple framework when it matters most:
- Clarity – Know the core message and why it matters.
- Compassion – Care enough to be honest and deliver your message in a way that it can be heard.
- Consistency – Cultivate trust with a respectful tone and calm approach that people can count on.
Real Talk: An Example
Let’s say a team member is consistently missing deadlines. You could say:
“I’ve noticed a pattern of missed deadlines, and it’s impacting the team’s momentum. Let’s set up time to talk about what’s going on and what’s needed to get back on track.”
This is direct, respectful, and collaborative. It addresses the issue, not the person’s character.
And once you’ve said what’s needed, be prepared for what follows. Candour doesn’t end with your delivery. Hold space for the other person’s response. Emotions may come up: pause, listen, and validate their perspective without losing sight of your message.
Quick Emotional Check-In Before You Speak
To use candour well, ground yourself first. Do this:
- Pause and notice: What emotions are you bringing into this conversation? Let go of what won’t serve you.
- Set your intention: What do you want to accomplish? What does success look like?
- Center on the person: Focus on the relationship while addressing the issue.
- Use the platinum rule: Don’t treat others how you want to be treated; treat them how they want to be treated.
When You Avoid Candour, You Create Confusion
Avoiding hard conversations doesn’t make the issue go away. It creates space for misinterpretation, tension, and disengagement.
Kindness is being brave enough to say what matters, in a way that creates clarity and respect.
At the same time, candour overused or used without care can wear people down. Too much tough truth, without balance, can lead to fatigue and resistance. Remember to pair directness with recognition, and honesty with empathy.
Now You
- If you’re already known for being direct:
Ask yourself, “Does my style land well with most people OR only with those wired like me?” - If you tend to hold back:
Ask yourself, “What am I afraid will happen if I speak up?” Then challenge your story and prepare to share.
Want to know how you’re doing? Ask for feedback from people you trust. Check in with yourself regularly: Is my impact aligned with my intention?
Final Thought
Candour is a leadership muscle, and it gets stronger with use. When you commit to honest, thoughtful, and intentional communication in a way that reflects your brand, you not only become more effective, but you also build trust and connection.
Say what needs to be said. Say it with care. You may even have people thanking you!
Ready to Elevate Your Leadership?
At Authentic Leaders Edge, we help leaders like you develop an impactful leadership presence that establishes the value only you can offer. Whether you’re leading a team or refining your personal brand, Dorothy Lazovik provides tailored coaching to accelerate your growth.
Book a complimentary 30-minute consultation to explore how coaching can help you step into your full potential. Email today to get started!
