At a recent workshop, one of the participants shared a story that hit close to home for many leaders. He had taken a bold step, asking his colleagues for feedback on how he was showing up at work. He wanted to be more strategic and intentional about the professional brand he was building. Smart move!
He already defined the brand model for how he wanted to be seen and what he wanted to be known for. Now it was time to find out how closely the perceptions from those around him matched how he was showing up. He felt this would provide a clear path forward in making the right change.
The twist:
He asked for feedback, and it was honest. Some of it was affirming. Some of it stung. At first, he was grateful for their openness. After several negative comments, a familiar defensiveness crept in. “Come on,” he thought. “I’m not that bad.”
He took a moment to pause and realized:
He asked for feedback because it seemed like the right next step for his development. However, he hadn’t considered whether he was truly ready to hear it and willing to act on it.
Feedback Gap: Asking vs. Acting
Asking for feedback isn’t just about gathering data. It’s about being willing to do something with what you hear.
Before you reach out to others, ask yourself:
- Are you seeking validation or transformation?
- Are you open to what might not be easy to hear?
- Are you prepared to act on what is shared?
The answer will shape how you hear it and if you will ultimately act on it.
Receiving Constructive Feedback Starts with Intention
When you’re ready to ask for honest input, here’s how to make it count:
1. Ask people you trust and interact with regularly
Their perspective is based on observation, not assumption. Keep in mind, they are sharing because you asked and are interested in supporting your success.
2. Be clear about your purpose
Let them know specifically what you’re working on and how their feedback will help.
3. Seek to understand, not defend
If someone describes you as “coming across as aggressive,” get curious. This helps to identify whether it’s emotionally driven (impatience, tone) or behaviour-based (interrupting, non-verbal cues).
Appreciate their honesty. Awareness opens the door to change. Clarity empowers action.
From Insight to Change
Once you’ve heard the feedback, don’t go silent. Engage your colleagues in your growth and establish accountability for change:
- Ask them to gently flag moments when you may not recognize a misstep.
- Just as importantly, ask them to point out when you’re getting it right.
This reinforces your commitment to evolving—and keeps you on track with your brand.
Final Thought: Feedback is a Mirror, Not a Verdict
Leadership isn’t about being perfect or getting everything right. It’s about being more self-aware and choosing to change for the better.
So yes, ask for feedback.
Ready yourself for hearing the truth because some of it may be tough.
Be courageous in accepting the opportunity to make the changes and grow.
Circle back with those who provided the gift and share what you did with it.
You don’t build your brand by talking about it.
You build it by living it and sticking with it even when it’s not easy.
Your Move
Before your next feedback conversation, ask yourself:
“Am I asking to feel good or to get better?”
If the answer is growth, then listen fully.
Use feedback to build trust, shift perception, and close the gap between intention and impact.
Pick one person you trust. Ask for specific feedback. Implement, then circle back to express your gratitude and share the difference it has made.
Feedback is your leadership lever.
Ready to Elevate Your Leadership?
At Authentic Leaders Edge, we help leaders like you develop an impactful leadership presence that establishes the value only you can offer. Whether you’re leading a team or refining your personal brand, Dorothy Lazovik provides tailored coaching to accelerate your growth.
Book a complimentary 30-minute consultation to explore how coaching can help you step into your full potential. Email today to get started!
