In Part One, we explored two subtle yet damaging leadership behaviours: making excuses and blaming others.
In this post, we’ll dive into the final two traps – behaviours that quietly erode your leadership presence. These tendencies may show up during an extended meeting, when you’re feeling overlooked, or while navigating a stressful day.
Most of the time, you may not even be aware you’re engaging in them. But the moment you choose to stop, everything shifts. Your energy changes. Your perspective widens. Your presence becomes more grounded
Self-awareness is key. And when you know better, you can choose to do better.
Reminder: You are in charge
As stated in Part One, you are 100% responsible for how you show up.
Your reputation isn’t shaped by what you do when things are easy; it’s shaped by what you do consistently, especially when it’s hard.
In cultures where accountability is low, it’s tempting to lower your own standards. But your standards are yours. They reflect the leader you choose to be.
The more consistently you live by them, the more your credibility grows.
TRAP #3: judging others
Judgment tends to sneak in when someone or something doesn’t match your idea of “right.”
Maybe it’s a passing comment about someone’s appearance. A harsh remark about a colleague’s behaviour, or an assumption about a parenting choice, communication style or work ethic.
But judgment isn’t discernment; it’s a lack of empathy.
It sends the message that you’re more focused on criticizing others than leading.
What it might sound like:
Judging: “I can’t believe she’s always late to meetings and doesn’t even apologize. So disrespectful.”
Leading: ““This is the third time she’s been late. I’ll check in with her to see if things are okay.”
Or …
Judging: A team member puts down your idea in a meeting, and you think, “They’re always negative and making me look bad.”
Leading: You pause and think, “Maybe they have a different perspective or see a risk I have missed. I’ll follow up to understand their point of view.”
Judgement disconnects you from the person. When you replace judgement with curiosity and compassion, you strengthen your emotional maturity. An essential trait of strong leadership.
Ask yourself:
- When am I most prone to judge others?
- What’s really going on for me in those moments?
- How does judging affect how I lead and am perceived?
TRAP #4: Complaining
Complaining is often disguised dissatisfaction. It’s a way to express frustration without taking the risk of changing what’s not working.
But here’s the truth: complaining keeps you stuck. It drains your energy, erodes your presence and undermines your influence.
Leaders don’t complain. They clarify. They communicate. And they take action.
What it might look like:
Complaining: Your boss cancelled your one-on-one again. Frustrated, you vent to a colleague and rant to your partner. Changing nothing.
Leading: Instead, you initiate a respectful conversation with your manager: “I understand your time is limited, and I value our one-on-ones. They help me stay aligned and connected. Can we find a consistent time that works for both of us?”
Or ….
Complaining: Your friend texts constantly during your lunch together, and it bothers you. You tell everyone but your friend.
Leading: You set expectations from the start: “I’ve been looking forward to catching up. Let’s put our phones away and be fully present with each other.”
Speaking up takes courage. It reinforces mutual respect and strengthens relationships.
People can’t meet expectations you never communicate.
Ask yourself:
- What do I find myself complaining about?
- What conversation am I avoiding that could shift the situation?
- What action can I take to move things forward?
Take 100% responsibility
These four traps—making excuses, blaming, judging, and complaining—may seem small, but their impact is significant. They dilute your power, weaken your brand, and leave others questioning your consistency.
The good news is that the moment you decide to stop engaging in them, it strengthens your leadership and the experience others have of you.
Start here:
- Identify the trap you fall into most often.
- Focus on catching it for the next 30 days.
- Replace it with a behaviour that reflects your values.
- Ask someone you trust to help keep you accountable.
And when in doubt? Embrace the pause.
As the old saying goes: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
Your brand reflects the choices you make every day.
Decide how you want to be known. Then lead from there.
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Ready to Elevate Your Leadership?
At Authentic Leaders Edge, we help professionals like you develop a powerful leadership presence. Whether you’re leading a team or defining your personal brand, Dorothy Lazovik provides tailored coaching to accelerate your growth.
Book a complimentary 30-minute consultation to explore how coaching can help you step into your full potential. Email today to get started!
